Aging happens at life’s intersections.

At Aging While Black, we consistently call attention to the intersection of aging and race because we believe no one experiences aging through a single lens. The opportunities we have known and the communities that have embraced us are part of the story. But, so are the barriers we have faced and the rejection we have experienced. 

As Pride Month comes to a close, I have found myself thinking about another intersection that deserves our attention: the intersection of aging, race, and identity.

I have been replaying a particularly poignant conversation that took place in Los Angeles. A gentleman with a warm and engaging smile approached me after a convening. As a Black gay man, he shared some of the hurt he still carries from the early years of the AIDS epidemic. He spoke of friends who never had the chance to grow old. He spoke of the fear that defined an entire season of life. But what lingered with me most was his description of the pain he experienced from the church he had loved as a child. It was not an angry conversation. It was a deeply human one.

As he spoke, memories surfaced for me as well. I thought about extraordinarily gifted people I have known over the years. Some lived much of their lives in secrecy because they feared what honesty might cost them. Some died far too young. Others survived, but not without wounds that remain decades later.

All of this reinforces an important truth: People do not simply age. They age with everything life has handed them.

One of the privileges of this work is listening to people’s stories. Again and again, I am reminded that every elder has traveled a road that cannot be understood by looking only at where they are today. The visible reality of older adulthood is often shaped by decades of experiences that remain unseen.

For many Black LGBTQ+ elders, those experiences may include the weight of racism, the burden of secrecy, and the trauma of losing friends during the AIDS epidemic. Those realities do not disappear with age. They become part of the story every elder brings into later life.

And yet, those experiences do not define Black LGBTQ+ elders. There are also stories of courage, creativity, love, service, and leadership. Their lives have strengthened families, enriched communities, and inspired movements. They are testaments not only to what they have endured, but to all they have contributed.

As Pride Month ends, I am thinking less about the observance itself and more about the people whose lives and stories this month is meant to honor. I simply want to honor Black LGBTQ+ elders. Their stories deserve to be heard. Their contributions deserve to be celebrated. And like every elder, they deserve to be seen in the fullness of their humanity..

Aging happens at life’s intersections. Perhaps our responsibility is to meet people there.